…at your worst, at your best, at your strongest, at your weakest. In all your real-ness, without the everything’s-ok-really-it-is!! mask super-glued to your face.
This weekend kind of sucked. I wasn’t feeling so great, tired and victimized by a bit of a stomach bug. John threw his back out just in time for his birthday. His parents took us out to eat, and I ended up having to take Hank out of the restaurant because he was throwing food and generally acting up. Then, he was up half the night with apparent ear pain. We had already been to the doctor earlier in the week, and Hank had been diagnosed with a double ear infection and croup.
So, fearing a relapse of the ear infection and not wanting to wait another day to go to his regular doctor, I decided to take Hank to the urgent care facility to get his ears checked out. I gave John leave to stay home with Dagney and his aching back, but I didn’t want to go alone. Hank can sniff out a doctor’s office a mile away, and I was feeling fragile. I called my sister in for the assist.
I knew how this whole thing would go down. I had that whole emotional-house-of-cards feeling. I knew that I would end up crying and looking pathetic. On the way to pick up my sister, I wondered for a moment if I really needed a witness to my breakdown. Without hesitation, I answered myself with a resounding “YES!” On that day, I needed a helping hand, an arm for support.
So, my sister saw me that day. In all my teary, coping and not quite coping, a little bit crazy and yet painfully practical glory. I let it all hang out because I was tired and incapable of holding back. It was a relief just to let her see my struggle, the thing that I deal with every day, because she is one of those people…one of MY people. Someone that I can bear all my flaws and fears to and receive only love, support and humor in return. No judgment…no pity…only the good stuff. I’m not sure why I held back as long as I did because I never expected anything less from her. It felt good to be seen.
My sister. She is awesome. I love her.
And, to all of my other awesome people out there. Here is a song that makes me think of you.
You got me too..and lucky you to have a sister!
yep, you are on my short list. 🙂
I have said many times that there are only a few people I am comfortable with witnessing the day to day crazies that can occur in this house. I wish my sister was one of them, but we aren’t that close. So cherish that bond that the two of you have. You are very lucky!
deb, we have been close ever since we lost our brother. i was 14 and she was 11. we have been good friends ever since.
[…] have already written about my sister. She used to be a real pain in my ass, always following me around and bugging the crap out of me […]